Woke up today with a terrible terrible feeling. I have to admit that food plays a major role in my life. Nonetheless food is essential for human being, it is our fuel to get our body going. water to repair the cells, calories for energy and organ functions. Women particularly, need fat for hormone maintenance and reproduction system.
Why again am I talking about food?
Something happened last night, I admit that I haven't been taking care of myself properly and been focusing on all the wrong aspects of life. What I'm going through can be similarly considered as culture shock, but not at all cultural, instead it is a shock, life shock!
I'm writing in the hopes that I could finally unveil what the problem really is. So here goes.....
Last night, my flatmate having a party at home, its not that I'm tempted at all, I have been having fun for weeks living abroad, meeting people that I totally neglect the real reason that I'm here for. My future. Personal life have been going up and down, up and down again, but i guess that is just how life is. I have to learn how to accept that and how to cope with it.
Oh, before I go on any further, rambling about whatever there is in my head. I did something, I binge. But I didn't purge regardless how sick I felt last night, because, I made a promise to myself that I am not going through that cycle again. never ever!
I read somewhere that it's okay to binge, that I am not alone in this, it's good that I realise that there's a problem behind what I just did. I made a list prior to writing this. It's on my board to remind me everyday that I am only human and I can get through this. The list goes something like this:
I binge because.....
- I felt something is missing, incomplete, it makes me bored
- I am scared of my masters degree, stress and I don't know how to cope with it
- I failed myself as I didn't set my priorities straight
And most importantly, I felt that I haven't been taking good care of myself. A note to self, if you don't care of yourself, who will?
Hence, another challenge in life to get things straight again!
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