Hello everyone,
Seriously, I had no idea what to write about, just the fact that I felt great after my insanity. Not to mention a couple of days ago i had a meltdown and was ranting like a lunatic on Facebook, bad idea! I know, but somehow I need an outlet, I was so rash (not a bit) that I didnt even consider this medium to rant on.
Nonetheless, the reason I chose that medium, perhaps to be seen, not to fish for sympathy or what not, just to get the facts straight, and I'm only human hence I have anger issues, sometimes....
After a long period of being in a relationship and also rebound relationship, now I am totally on my own, depending on myself to love, learning to love myself the way I wanted to be loved and getting to know the new me. Break ups always change a person and I hope to be a better one. Yes! Loneliness do creeps in and when it does, it sucks.
Having that particular someone on your mind also a terrible thing to go through and I'm praying that I can let him out of my system soon. Honestly, I regret that I tend to date jerks that do not appreciate me at all, and the ones that actually shows that they love me don't click with me (this refers to the rebound guy).
Nevertheless, the most part of me wants to move on like pronto! As I want to have my old self back, the one that is confident and doesn't have eating disorder. And actually that's about it of my old self that I wanted to keep. To be frank, I was not a nice person before, I am cocky and sometimes I do think that I am above everybody else. What changed me? Well, the attitude of that rebound guy, he was a mirror of something I dislike, thus, I decided to change to be a better person, learn to be humble and modest.
Yes! I do agree that everything happened for a reason and there's a silver lining to everything that had occurred just as God wants it. God works in mysterious ways huh?
As of now, I'm recuperating both from my psychological state and my break up. The eating disorder occurred after my break up though, while I was with the rebound guy.....did I mentioned that he was super skinny....yeah just a fuel to make me work harder on losing weight back then. Not at all love. And yes our hearts can be deceiving, that's why I kept on going on rebound relationships. Something that I have to work on. I just need to get better......
XOXO
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