Finding Balance

Balance...What is balance? Is it fairness? Equality?

One thing I learnt in grad school is that definitions are not constrained to a single idea because people interpret ideas differently and the logic between people varies greatly. Nonetheless, definitions are still important as a guideline for us to study further about a particular issue.

Personally for me, balance is important, not to mention being born into the Libra sign (cliche!) I am all about balance. Libra is visualise or symbolise as a scale and that is what I did today. Jump onto the scale and find myself weighing 56kg. Yes, it is important for me to bear in mind that the numbers on the scale are nothing than just merely numbers and it should never ever dictates other aspects of me. Nevertheless, given my history with eating disorder this kinda disturb me a little bit.

Being at this weight I know that I am going to the overweight direction and I have no other people to blame other than myself because I have been overeating. I am not sure why I can't control myself with food, and also the fact that I am always hungry. And believe me how I've missed being normal and not to analyse and think about food, calories etc.

I am sure how I've let myself to be from one end to another. Previously, I was literally starving myself, and now I can't stop shoving food inside of my mouth. Why I can't find the balance about eating? Therefore, for the month of November, I shall focus solely on finding my balance battling this demon of mine and hope to have a better self control and to fully recover.

Wish me luck. xx